


when you fall, just lean on me

by escapismandsharpobjects



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22519063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/escapismandsharpobjects/pseuds/escapismandsharpobjects
Summary: eddie has a nightmare. buck is there for him.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 10
Kudos: 203





	when you fall, just lean on me

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is the first fic I’ve written for 911, I don’t know if it’s any good but I hope you enjoy! (the title comes from never seen the rain by tones and i which is my Eddie Song)

It happens like this. They are at the tail end of a monster of a 24-hour shift, desperately trying to get some much-needed sleep in between calls. Buck is gently snoring away in the bunk to his right. Chim is sleeping soundly on his left. Everyone, in fact, is asleep. Except for him. 

He hates sleeping at work. Hates the vulnerability of it, the possibility that he could have a nightmare and someone would see it, someone would know. And it’s not like they don’t all get their fair share of nightmares (it comes with the job), but it’s different when it’s him, for reasons he can’t quite explain. So he just doesn’t sleep at work. He knows, anyway, that pretty soon, a call will come through and everyone will be up and ready so fast that they won’t notice the fact that he’s been awake the whole time.

It’s not ten minutes later that the alarm blares, just as he knew it would, and suddenly he’s in the truck on his way to a car accident, which, luckily, proves to be non-fatal and nearly injury-free. Quick and easy.

They’re back in the truck in no time, on their way back to the station. Eddie is suddenly hit with the realization that he is utterly exhausted. He’s not even sure how long it’s been since he last slept. All he can think is,  _ too long, too long. _ He’s going to fall asleep, it’s only a matter of time. He prays for a sleep with no nightmares, when it comes.

\--

He is in the desert. It is hot and dry and there are people shouting all around him, and they are frantic, and they are shouting  _ at him _ , and there is blood on his hands, blood everywhere, and the man in front of him is coughing and pressing a hand to the bullet wound in his stomach, and his eyes are full of fear and resignation and Eddie knows he won’t be able to save him, he  _ knows _ , but his hands are already bloody and the man is not dead yet, so he tries and he tries and the heat feels like it’s peeling the skin from his bones and he thinks he could choke on the air and everyone keeps crowding closer and closer and their shouts are becoming more and more frantic and suddenly the man coughs that final, fatal cough, and everyone is screaming now, and he’s screaming too, and there’s blood on his hands and on his clothes and it’s soaking into the sand and it’s soaking into his skin and he knows he will never be clean of it, of this man’s blood on his hands and on his clothes, this man who he could not save, and he’s crying and everyone around him has stopped making noise and they are watching him silently and he screams again and the ground shakes beneath him, shakes  _ with  _ him, and he begs it to open up and swallow him whole, and it listens to him, and suddenly everything is all black and his own scream echoes in his ears and there are hands on him, all over him, and he tries to shake them off but they keep coming back and all of a sudden his eyes are open and he’s gasping for breath and someone is shouting again, shouting for  _ him _ , and he can’t do this, not again, not again…

And then there are arms around him and his breathing is all wrong, it’s too fast and it’s not enough and he can’t stop whatever is happening, and he doesn’t  _ know  _ what is happening, and then he hears a voice say, “Eddie,” and then everything comes back to him so suddenly that it feels like he’s been punched. He shoves the arms off and stands up, or he tries to, anyway. An intense wave of dizziness washes over him, and he sinks back down and swallows harshly against the bile rising in his throat. 

He risks a glance around, expecting some sort of audience, but there is no one there save for the owner of the arms and the voice, who, at the moment, is speaking to him in low, hushed tones.

“You’re okay, Eddie, you’re safe. Do you know where we are?”

He feels like the desert sand is still in his throat, but he answers hoarsely, “Back at the station. Still in the truck. Where’s everyone else?”

“I made them clear out. Didn’t think you’d want to have everyone looking at you.”

He nods. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, and it half catches in his throat. “I’m sorry.”

An arm comes cautiously up around his shoulders. “This okay?”

He nods once again. 

“Listen to me, Eddie. You have nothing to be sorry for, okay? All of us have nightmares. Me, Hen, Chim, even Cap. We all have stuff we dream about. It sucks, but honestly? It’s normal.”

He tries to say something, but the words get caught in his throat and he realizes with dread that he is going to cry and he _ can’t stop it. _ He takes in a deep breath to try and stave it off, but that action manages to accomplish just the opposite of its intended effect. All of a sudden there are tears dripping down his face and he thinks that he could scream with the pain of it all, but he whimpers instead and he hates himself for it, hates himself for being this vulnerable, but he can’t stop and he’s already dug himself into this pathetic pit, so he does the only thing he can think to do.

He turns his face and presses it into Buck’s shoulder, half slipping off the seat. He fumbles frantically for something to hold onto to keep from falling to the floor, but instead, Buck grabs onto  _ him _ , and pulls him back up, and holds onto him. 

And keeps holding on.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading this!! I hope you liked it, feel free to let me know what you think!!


End file.
